Saturday, November 13, 2010

Weekend reading

In an effort to understand and work with the people with whom I live, I'm currently reading Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus, and The Parenting Breakthrough

I read Mars/Venus quite some time ago and thought it made a lot of sense.  This time through it's making me mad.  It has a lot of anti-feminism undertones that just rub me the wrong way.  The author comes across as some sort of male apologist who's trying to coax volatile yet delicate females into getting along with their mates.

"To expect a man who is in his cave instantly to become open, responsive, and loving is as unrealistic as expecting a woman who is upset immediately to calm down and make complete sense.  It is a mistake to expect a man to always be in touch with his loving feelings just as it is a mistake to expect a woman's feelings to always be rational and logical." (Mars/Venus, page 37)


I understand that when he says feelings can't always be rational and logical that he is NOT saying that they never are.  That first sentence is the one that gets to me.  Perhaps it's an irrational feeling of irk that cannot make logical sense because life has me by the nads and I'm incapable, due to my female nature, of calming down and making complete sense.  Jerk.

The Parenting Breakthrough is a really great book though.  The author is funny and visual, laughs at herself and has a lot of very practical solutions to teaching children that have astounded me. I didn't know how to be a mother or even a babysitter when I brought home my first beautiful, impossibly tiny and delicate baby.  I didn't know what to do about kids or babies or homemaking or finances.  I was so afraid of finances that I just spent as little money as possible when I got out on my own.  It kept me out of debt, but money didn't do me any favors either.  I'm learning more about how to be a practical adult from this book than any other book I've read.  Have you ever heard of something called E-Trade or Ameritrade?  The stock market has long been one blurry mystery to me, something that accountants and rich people who employ accountants know about and something you need $1 million to even begin to play with.  The author talked about buying a small online trading account for her teenager to give him a feel for what stock markets are like.  What??

Obviously I'm getting more out of one book than the other and I switch between them as I get too irritated to keep reading with interest (Mars/Venus) or too overwhelmed by what I don't even know about myself (Breakthrough) like interior decorating as a means of teaching, life plans, and investment banking. 

I feel too tired to roll up my sleeves right now.  I feel like I don't have the strength to do much of anything besides get food on the table once a day and churn out homework and tests like a cross eyed pasta machine.  Similes that don't make sense?  Largely inexplicable irritability?  At least one hot bath a day to scorch some endorphins into my screaming mind?  Dragging myself through exercise only to want a nap right afterward?  Check, check, check, double check. 

And now I must go grocery shopping.  Work on the van plus getting Man into one last college that only requires that he take one class and transfer his 250+ credits in before FINALLY getting a Bachelor's degree (which may actually turn out to be a double or triple major, thanks to the military) means beans and rice for a week or two, but really, it doesn't get much better than a good pot of beans and basmati rice.  I thank God for times when I can really enjoy simple things.

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